Dobry den, Litomerice!

I will be meeting you soon! As soon as I:

Finish exams

Finish designing my independent study

Start my independent study

Complete my independent study

Pack

Not so far off. I think I can manage :)

Why Velvet Evolution? Or, Why Velvet Revolution?

American Revolution, French Revolution, Cultural Revolution. Glorious revolution, bloody revolution…velvet revolution?

In December 29 of 1989, after 41 years of communist rule, the people of Czechoslovakia won back their country. Not so remarkable, in the midst of so many revolts and revolutions that year. But this revolution happened peacefully, without bloodshed. Hundreds of thousands of citizens had protested and demonstrated for a solid week in November, until one by one, the communist leadership resigned. No tanks or guns, just opposition movements, closed theaters and relentless protests. It has been named the “Velvet Revolution.”

But can any revolution really be "velvet"? If a revolution is a " dramatic and wide-reaching change in the way something works or is organized," can it ever be peaceful? And if we are all dependent on the past, then any violence in the past that has led to a revolution is also part of the revolution. The final stages of the revolution may have been bloodless, but what about four decades of oppression, violently suppressed demonstrations and countless imprisonments of dissidents? And isn't there more to peace than non-violence? Then what about the turmoil of uncertainty as Czechoslovakia began to assert its independence, wondering if their homeland would finally be their's again? Even if no guns were fired, this revolution was not peaceful.

Is a revolution within us ever velvet? I could very well be transformed by my experience this summer. But even if I accept those changes peacefully (a big if), will I have truly had a "velvet revolution"? Because for every time that I accept change with grace and poise, there have been fifty times that change meant destruction, and I found it because I feared it.

If I am able to accept the uncertainty of teaching while I am a learner, and guiding while I am a traveler, then I thank God. But while God does promise transformation, new life, evolution, I have not seen where God told us these things would be velvet.

And yet, we have "the peace that passes understanding." The change God calls for in us is violent and sometimes bloody, rarely velvet. But there is still peace.

Maybe "peaceful revolution" isn't such a contradiction after all.

Semi-Official

Posted but not mailed. Certified but still sealed. Ready but waiting.

According to Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, Bethel Ministries and my iCal, I will teaching English in Central Europe from June 1-July 26. But according to the FAA, I will not be going anywhere. I am still waiting on flight confirmation from my travel agent. She's a family friend doing me a favor (a huge one, given the particularity of my itinerary), so I can't be irritated that this isn't getting done as fast as I want it (as in, an hour from when I put in the request). But I can't help being anxious: what if the ticket price goes up 700 dollars this weekend? what if all outgoing flights to Prague are full? what if I commit a felony tomorrow and cannot leave the country?

I just want the waiting to be over. I have been waiting...
...to return to Europe: 2 years
...to see what I'll be doing this summer: 6 months
...to hear from CBF about programs: 1 month
...for confirmation with student.go: 3 weeks
...to get a flight: 2 weeks

I could buy my ticket today and still be waiting to go...6 weeks. Nothing will make that date come sooner. And no matter how anxious I am to go ahead and leave already, nothing will make me ready for that day to get here, or me to get there.

Sure, I've tutored some people, and I've taught English as a Second Language for a few months. But how does that qualify me to step into a classroom? To make curriculum? To be the only thing standing between little Czech children and them learning an entirely incomprehensible but completely necessary language?

And speaking of incomprehensible...how am I going to learn enough Czech to make a good impression? I know a total of two phrases in Czech: "beer please" (pivo prosim) and "good morning, how are you?" (dobry den, jak se mate?). I don't like beer and I'll need to greet people in the afternoon too, so these phrases are limited in their usefulness.

You know, I did pretty well with Swahili. I learned enough that I could exchange the basics with the African students at ESL. They understood me (despite the stuttering, Yankee pronunciation and mixed up grammer) and sometimes I could pick out a few words they were saying. And I had thought to myself, "If an African language makes sense to me, surely an Indo-European language will be even easier."

Then I looked at a teach-yourself-Czech book and found out that the Slavic language family is a bird with some pretty different feathers. I'm not even sure it's a bird. I'm an ornithologist looking at a bear. Or maybe a waterfall. Point being, I'm intimidated.

To recap: I am an intimidated, unprepared, anxious, neophyte missionary. Oh, and I don't like evangelizing. Add 'uncomfortable' to the list.

And from what I know about people in ministry...I am in good company. As much as I feel like the most wrong person for this job, I still feel like God has been calling me to this mission. I feel like there's a reason.

There has to be a reason why the internships that I wanted with BGAV and Baptist Joint Committee were closed doors. Why the May Term "Church and State" class that I wanted so much to take was cancelled. Why the student.go orientation will prevent me from attending an on-site May Term class at BTSR. There has to be a reason why I was unable to work in Ukraine, when I so wanted to live in an Eastern European, Orthodox country. Why out of the 10 CBF programs in Europe, the only one to get in touch with me is in Czech Republic, a place I've been to before that I didn't really want to return to. I'm sure there's a reason why. I'm sure God has a reason why.

But like the second-coming, or injustice, or mosquitoes, only God knows the why. The rest of us have to wait and see.

...and maybe the time of waiting has a reason too.